What’s Holding You Back?

Jane Ann Covington, BA, CCHT, RBT
for the Piedmont Review

Humans are notorious for arguing for their limitations. I learned early in my career that how we are when we’re young, we tend to become more so as we grow older…. unless we consciously change. Most of us know that changing some aspects of ourselves would be a good thing, but we just don’t know how or even what to do. Often, the harder we try to change, the more we feel like a failure. Sometimes, there’s like a block inside and we don’t even know what is holding us back.

The common denominator in our life is our mind, albeit conscious and subconscious.

In comes a 57 year old businessman who had cancer and was in the process of retiring on disability. He felt angry inside a lot of the time. He was very surprised at discovering from his unconscious, as reported in hypnosis regression: “I’m three years old. I’m in the living room with Mama and Daddy, and my older brother. I’m scared. My parents are arguing, yelling, and I’m afraid. I hate my father.” Stressful! At that very early age, my client’s environment had already colored his perception with fear and anger.

Even though the client had long ago learned to curb his destructive behavior around others from court ordered anger management classes and the medication he’d been on for years, he still felt angry and toxic inside. He originally came to see me because he’d heard that hypnosis might help a person with cancer.

He’s since learned new ways of thinking and believing, instead of blaming those around him, or the circumstances of life. He’s also had a great deal of stress relief by letting go of old hurts and unconscious fears. Perhaps more importantly, he’s learning to see life more clearly and to make more mature choices. He’s also learning to access new options that allow him to experience a variety of emotions that are more balanced and appropriate. He can now feel fear, anger, confusion, joy, curiosity, love, and more. He’s getting healthier in all kinds of ways.

So you might ask what does your childhood have to do with your life now? Here’s the answer: How most people act emotionally as an adult was programmed into them by age six, and most of that by age three. Researchers tell us that early childhood and, recently discovered, that pre-teen years are when most of our unconscious patterns become ingrained in our psyche and will continue throughout our lifetime…if we don’t do something about our old programming.

Another client, a 42 year old teacher with an uncontrollable eating habit reports in hypnosis regression: “I’m twelve years old. I’m in the den on the couch eating a bag of potato chips. My parents and sister and brother are also watching TV. I’m feeling really bad about myself. I’m on the cheerleading squad. I’m overweight. I feel really self conscious. Dad keeps telling me to ‘eat whatever I want, just don’t get fat.’ I wish I could do something, but I just don’t know what to do.” Stressful!

In the big picture of her life it turned out that her Dad’s comment closely resembled her own internal conflict of going on one diet after another, but in the end eating uncontrollably. In fact, this woman had always been shocked to see herself in the mirror nearly 100 pounds overweight.

Only when she was able to visit the source of the unconscious pattern through hypnosis was she able to make and hold on to a more mature perspective. Twenty five years of self criticism and dieting over. She has control now, makes appropriate choices, and is succeeding. Stress Relief!

We’ve all heard the notion that people consciously sabotage themselves because they must like to suffer. I don’t buy this shallow perspective. Truth is, it’s not enough to want to change.

Change is stressful because it goes against our programming, whether we accomplish our goal or not, or because we don’t change. Early subconscious conditioning is typically stronger than our conscious mind alone can easily overcome. The conscious mind is only ten percent of our brain. The subconscious mind is the other ninety percent of the brain.

Stress is what your mind and body experience in reaction to life. Starting from birth, or even while still in the womb as when our parents are fearful, smoke, drink, or get angry, stress can build. Reflecting to the other end of life, stress is often experienced in anticipation of the unknown aspects of death, some 50 years or more beyond our current age.

But stress can be found everywhere in between as well. Stress is born of a mind filled with beliefs, perceptions, and experiences that are frequently unhelpful, inaccurate, or offer quite limited interpretations of humanity and our own options for living.

It’s good to question our beliefs, perceptions, and behaviors. What beliefs and attitudes are blocking you? Are you anxious when meeting people, afraid to fly or speak in public? What stops you? Your mind!

For all of us who struggle to make changes in our lives, or want to give up, take heart. Just as the problem is in the mind, so is the answer. All behavior comes from learned responses. If we are being driven by something that no longer serves us, we can certainly learn something else. It may take work, but hypnosis make it much easier. Overall learning it’s really much different than when we were children. We just stopped thinking it was ok to keep trying something new.

Hypnosis with a trained expert in the field offers a new, faster option for learning new ways of seeing the world. Find ways to create new choices that are more easily integrated. Whether you want to loose weight, release fears, stop smoking, stop anxiety in its tracks, free yourself from criticism and negative self talk. For these and all other issues, remember the mind is the common denominator.
How are you using this powerful tool you have? To help you expand in life, or to keep you on a path that leads you into a rut! Don’t get the rut mixed up with your path.

Feeding your mind new ideas, new challenges, new options can help create the life that is wanted! Read more, listen to educational programs, helpful tapes and CD’s, go to lectures. Continuing to learn will help keep you younger long and make you more interesting to those around you, and to yourself.

WAKE Up and smell the options!